Prayer. Pursuit. Progress.

So I’m gonna get back in this blogging game after all. I think I just needed some rest for my mind to catch up with my body being back in the States. I got home about 3 weeks ago from Costa Rica, and there are still times when I wish I was back over there. Or can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I have a phone, car, and ability to eat Chick-Fil-A. I think I ate that 8 times in the first 5 days back, including my rock-star sisters bringing me chicken-fil-a biscuits right when i get back. If anything, though, it has showed me, and still is, how overly spoiled I am. I don’t know how to make links on here yet to other posts and stuff, but if I could, I’d send ya over to my sister’s blog (rebeccamoon.blogsome.com) to see what she wrote about our mother. Now while those stories are all of her craziness (I have been a great spectator and fan for 22 years), it points greatly to the love and blessings that I have from my parents. Just being able to live in America is blessing enough. We have so many amenities we don’t need.

NEED vs. WANT. My dad used to always say, "Now do you NEED that Ninja Turtle action figure, or do you just WANT it?" Of course my reaction was always, "Um…you don’t understand, I NEEEEEEDDD it." And then after he quickly turned th idea down for good, I learned the lesson in that, evenb though it probably took ’til I was 18 to finally get it. Well, my time in the Rich Coast showed me even more the truth of this.

I know I complained/struggled with the homestay situation we had while studying abroad, and how dumb I thought it was at first. But in reality, it was the biggest eye-opener of culture shock in my life. These people were fully content with what they had, even though that consisted of hardly anthing. They had just enough electricity to run their kitchen, since Lila (mi abuela) was such an amazing cook. So once again…I have a phone??? A car??? A queen-sized bed??? Wow…I’m so spoiled. Or really, its more like I have no idea still, even after the epiphany of this, how overly blessed He has made me.

So yeah, now my mind is catching back up with my body of being in the States. And honestly, it kinda sucks. It feels second nature again to drive my car over to a friend’s house. To go to whatever of the bagillionty restaurants I want for an meal. To sleep in a bed that I don’t hang 8 inches off of every night. Lord, don’t let me settle into comfortability again.

One of the biggest things spiritually I’m learning in my PCRR is why He ever puts us in uncomfortable situations. Oh, and yeah, the PCRR…thats Post-Costa Rica Reflections. Acronyms are the sheen.

Anywho, if He is our Comforter, yet we are always only in comfortable spots of our lives, then do we really need someone to come and comfort our hearts? We already have all the comfort. Yet, when placed in a situation that rocks you upside down, the Comforter is needed. His love is cherished. And he cherishes our love. Therefore, I feel that Costa Rica, if anything, was a call from Him for me to draw near and really grasp what it means for Christ to be the Comforter of my Heart. The Lover of my Soul.

So here I go again with the blogosphere. Wonder how long it will last this time. If my sister’s constant push for me to write is any indicator, then maybe for a while. We shall see. In the meantime…I pray for uncomfortableness for you. And then that you may seek the Comforter. The Rescuer. The Lover of your Souls. Breath in Pneuma today.

Stay Strong. Amor Gana.

-M@

—and Becca, I need a tutorial on how to be a cool blogger. Ayuda me…

So the past 2 weeks have been as much of a roller coaster as the first month. I realize I haven’t written since the day before my 22nd (Feb 12), but to my sister’s constant wishing for me to write again, haha, I thought I’d come out of hiding.

There is a reason to why I haven’t been on this bad boy, though. Communicationisms. See, don’t worry bout that not being a real word. It is now. For a week while we were rafting down the Pacuare River, then at Manuel Antonio, there was no internet. Then for the past week here, there have only been 2 computers that have working internet, so the daily slugfest for Facebook occurs from 8am-8pm. And when it comes to writing on this little guy, I’d rather do it in my closet, with the door shut behind me (if you follow what I mean). So while there’s been no internet, I’ve decided to start putting my specified area of study, English, to use by creating words. Like Communicationisms (or the lack thereof…).

Seriously, though, it is crazy to me that in 3 weeks I will be on a flight back to the States. And if I’m honest with myself, that comforts me a little. I’m still having some bouts with homesickness, but its just that comfort game again. My sister wrote my yesterday about facing my fears head on and how she’s proud of me for doing so. But really, I didn’t step into this BECAUSE of my fears, but rather my fears were brought to the forefront by being here. See, something happens when we finally step outside that bubble and into the unknown. It takes this sheath, this blanket, that covers our hearts and leaves you vulnerable. And isn’t that what we’re all afraid of? Being vulnerable? Potentially being hurt?

This is where my heart lies today…being vulnerable before Him with a situation I’ve been praying about and hoping for for close to 8 years now. In my devotional, SOLO, it talked about the story in 2 Kings 4 where this woman comes before Elisha with her desires. At first she is hesitant to reveal what her heart desires out of fear that she will be crushed again. But then, after gaining some trust and hope, she tells him that her greatest desire is for a son. When he says that in one year she’ll have one, her immediate reaction is, "Please do not be decieving me. Do not lie to me about this." So a year later, she bears a son. Some years later, though, once he is grown, he dies in her lap one day. At this she goes back visit Elisha. When he sees her, he becomes worried and asks what is wrong. Her reply is, "It is well." But once she’s away from other people and can be vulnerable, she breaks down at his feet crying out, "All of my hopes have failed."

This story is me. And so for the first time, this morning I realize that I’m terrified to trust God with certain things. Because of where my story has led me, I’m horribly afriad to trust God with this situation. I feel like everytime I get a taste of it, all the hopes for it coming to fruition fail, and I’m left broken. But my heart has become callussed (spelling has to be wrong on that one). So instead of coming to Him after the initial reaction is over, and truly getting to the deep source of the problem, I bury it. Now, 8 years later, its finally welled up to the surface. This morning, when I got alone and vulnerable, I had my at His feet breakdown.

Why am I so afraid to trust in Him with certain things, but its so easy for me to trust Him with others? And so this is where my heart lies. And this is where the truth of this situation lies…Broken down at His feet. I made myself vulnerable and actually tapped into my heart’s caverns.

So you see, it’s nt so much that we step into our fears and face them, but rather when the opportunity arises to go into the unknown, that blanket is lifted and the fears are surfaced. My fear is that all my hopes and desires will fail and be crushed once more. For me, maybe it took this trip to Costa Rica to find that out, but maybe all it really took was me leaving my bubble. Getting away from my normal; letting go of that security blanket and TRYING to trust Him that He’ll hold me up.

"I love you. It was me who knit you together in your mother’s womb."   -Psalm 139:13

So I am placing this on my heart. Placing my fears, hopes, and desires at His feet and saying, "Hear my cry. Rend the heavens and come to my side. ‘Hold my hand, I can’t stand alone.’" Do I know how to trust in Him with this yet, no, but I’m willing to step into the unknown journey that is trusting Him. Even with the situations I’ve been praying for for so long, yet have "failed" each time. Stay Strong. Love.

-M@

So I’m almost done with the first month of my journey here in Costa Rica. Funny how I call it a journey, cuz it’s really not that crazy compared to a lot of other things. We have our last day of class and then we go to San Jose for a day, and get another week rafting and at the beach before continuing in our "studies." My schedule for the next month consists of waking up before breakfast, taking pictures of everything in the jungle, then nothing until 2:55 when I have Spanish. That’s it. Mixed with a lot of soccer probably during the day. Which is weird for me, cuz uh…I dribble with my hands. I have skis for feet so the whole control thing doesn’t work as well as it should. But it’s really entertaining and a good workout. So Nate, if you read this…a. be jealous. b. be proud of your boy. and oh….the zip line canopy tours are in 2 weeks. upside down anyone?

But I’ve been thinking a lot recently. I mean, what’s new…? This whole first half of the time out here i focused so much on my comfort level. I wondered about how I was going to make it through a week straight at my homestay. I worried. Period.

And there’s my problem.

As I’ve been trying to adopt this whole ‘Pura Vida’ thing, I still never quite (and still don’t fully) grasped the ‘just living’ piece of the puzzle. The no worrying. Especially about things I can’t control. So it brings me to the realization that my focus is waaaayyyy off. And quite frankly, probably has been for, oh…my entire life. I’m such a contemplative person that I tend to worry and over-analyze everything possible. Trying to figure out the best possible way to do certain things. When in reality, all that Jesus called for me to do was LIVE. JUST BE. IN HIM. He tells us that the best possible way to live is by following Him. So why does my focus remain on the smaller hills that roll into my story?

In my bible study, which I miss by the way, Reed Moore always tells us that maybe our focus is wrong in talking about our struggles. The tendency is to talk about how badly we need to get over this mountain in our life and how much it brings us down. But rather than focusing on the problem, why can’t we focus on the solution that we already have? Instead, I end up spending most of my time worrying and contemplating of how to get over and through something.

It’s nothing I can DO. It’s something He DID. "It is finished." Oh, the wonder and glory and love of His Grace.

Now left with this truth, we attack the focus issue. It’s nothing I can do, therefore my contemplating over and over on an issue won’t change anything. My sister wrote about God’s sovereignty the other day, it rang something back up in my mind from my senior year in HS. I read "The Holiness of God" by R.C. Sproul during the fall of that year. It teaches about the Glory and Holiness of God. But even more, it provides a glimpse into His sovereignty. You see, nothing we do, no choice, decision, failure, or accomplishment, can alter His Sovereignty. The Story is already written…are you going to fall in tune with the Author’s pages? After all, His story and life is the BEST POSSIBLE LIFE. He says so.

In my devotional (’SOLO’ by Eugene Peterson), it talked yesterday about David and his battle with Goliath. When Saul is looking for anyone to stand up to behemoth looming across the field, the delivery boy, not even suited in armor, is the only one to come forth. Saul then immediately scoffs at this gesture and denies the request. But David persists, for He KNOWS something that Saul doesn’t…The Lord is going to deliver David’s enemies into his hands. And the story continues as most of you know it…

You see, David’s focus wasn’t on the giant Philistine looming in the distance, but rather it was on the One who wrote the story, tied the ropes of his slingshot, placed the specific rocks in David’s sling, and guided them as they fell Goliath. He had no need to worry for He KNEW God was on His side and had a plan.

‘Make the conscious choice to move the attention of your anxious heart away from [the] waves and direct  it to the one who walks on them and says, ‘It’s Me. Don’t be afraid.’…Look at Him and say, ‘Lord, have mercy.’ Say it again and again, not anxiously but with confidence that he is very close to you and will put your soul to rest.’       -Henri Nouwen

So where is our focus? What are our anxieties and worries? Are the some Goliaths in our life looming down at us across the fields of the unknown future? Are there mountains soaring into the horizon that block any attempt to hope for the light of tomorrow? Where is my attention? On the Goliaths and anxieties of my future or on the One who controls my future?

My Goliath was my comfort and where it was found. I’m slowly getting it, but getting it surely. THIS is where my comfort is…that He’s already written it all. He built the mountains that lay ahead. He formed the waves as they roll into my shore. He’s walking on top of them, drawing near to my side. So have no need to worry about my time here in Costa Rica. I’m just going to live and enjoy it. Breathe in the fresh air…breathe in with pneuma.

stay strong. love. I miss you all…

-M@

—-and I get to try my hand at riding the waves in 5 days! haha, so good.

Becca, can’t wait to eat your cake. Nick, can’t wait to ball with ya. Katelynn and Tanner, can’t wait to throw you in the air. Mom and Dad, can’t wait to see you and hug you. And your cooking, too, Mom. Chicken Lynn, por favor? Love you.

So I have a new passion…riding horses. I’m not talking like walking ‘em around, I mean runnin’ those bad boys. Today we had our final Horseback Riding class. We went on a mile long trek around the mountains and through these paths. It was amazing. Once I finally figured out how to ride and not hurt myself (posture is crucial), it made everything easier and more enjoyable…naturally. haha, seriously, though, it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. Our "teacher/leader," Lelo, was riding the fastest horse, Moro. On our way back we had to go back up this big hill. Zonto, my horse, took off ahead of Lelo and Moro. Running what I thought was full speed, I was leading everyone up the hill. Then I look to my right and here comes Lelo racing by, slapping Moro on the back to make him go faster. He signals for me to do it, too, if I want, to catch up. I give him a swift slap and Yippee Cay Aye…apparently Zonto wasn’t running his fastest before, haha! It was amazing, and the mountains all around only made it better. Bridgette mentioned that she felt like we wer ein New Zealand or something. I couldn’t have agreed more…I felt like I was a Rider of Rohan following Shadowfax, the King of Horses (Lord of the Rings). If I’m able to have any land when I grow up I’m gettin a horse, and we’re gonna be tight friends.

And I just said when I grow up…haha, I’m 22 in 6 days. I know I’m still really young, but feels like I’m gettin old. I freakin graduate in May. From college! You kiddin’ me?!?

So I’m bout to ride into that BREEZE con mi amigo Zonto.

Ride. Fly. Catch it and take off…

stay strong. love.

-M@

And did ya look up "Pneuma"? Good stuff, right? Why can’t we get it right with our words like they did back then…

So it is hot as freakin fire today. El clima esta en fuego. haha, I don’t think that works as a proper phrase, but whatever. wear it. Normally there is a strong wind that carries over the mountains behind our campus, making it perfect weather here, but the past few days there has been nothing. Clear skies, no wind, and the sun just beating down on Monteverde. I need that breeze…

We only have 5 more days of class until our finals, which start next Monday. It’s crazy that I’m almost done with 5 hours of class. And half of this program! After our finals we go bakc to San Jose on the 13th (someone’s 22nd birthday). We have a free day in the city all day, then travel to the Pacuare River on the 14th and 15th to go rafting. Apparently its a top 10 ranked river in the world. Not too sure bout all that, but thats all the hooplah about it. I’m excited for it, though. If nothing else this journey is allowing me some cool opportunities that I never would have otherwise.

Over the weekend we travelled to the Nicoya Peninsula. The first thing to know about the Nicoya is that it’s hot. No fun. And really dusty. We got to go spelunking, though. First, I think this may be the most awkward wor din the English dictionary. Spelunking. Really? Who in the world cam eup with that? Anywho, the caves were crazy. I’m reading The Lord of the Rings right now, so I felt like I was inside Moria, getting a glance at what it was like for Gimli and the others on their journey. The big thing about caves is that the make you appreciate fresh air. It’s just stale and muggy and sticky in there. But being able to see it all was well worth the 50 foot climb down and the old air.

So far I’ve been to a volcano, no wait, three volcanoes, seen a rainbow about every other day, been inside a cave, and ridden on busses across the whole mountainous country of Costa Rica for many many hours. In other words, Dramamine is my best friend.

I may be looking forward to what happens AFTER the Pacuare even more, though. We have a "mid-program break" for 4 days to do whatever we want. A bunch of us are going to Manuel Anotnio, Costa Rica. 4 days on the beach. It’s gonna be sooo nice. So while my friends are laving away with exams around the first quarter of classes, I’ll be surfing in Costa Rica. I know you love that…

My heart has been trying to focus on the ‘Shemah’. What it means. How it rings through your heart.

"Attention, Israel! God, our God, God the one and only. Love God, your God, with all your heart. Love Him with all that’s in you, love Him with all that you have!"

This Jewish prayer was said every morning by the children of God. A reminder to love. A reminder to worship. A reminder to follow. I think sometimes all of us could use that little breeze of a reminder with our faiths. Don’t let the air of your faith sit in a cave to get stale. Catch the breeze. Ride it. Move everyday along His love.

Pneuma. look it up…

stay strong. love.

-M@

I have. And actually thats a trick question…there is no bottom. It continues to move with your eyes through the sheet of mist near the ground. But I know there’s a freakin leprechaun (I know I just butchered that spelling) chillin near there. We went to Volcano Arenal and the town of La Fortuna this past weekend. It was amazing. The hotel we stayed in was about a half mile from the bottom of the Volcano. The entire place was gorgeous. Lake Arenal is a gorgous place, too. We got to go to this Resort type area called Baldi Springs. It’s natural hot springs. There were like 20 pools, of which the COOLEST was 93 degrees. So we went to a giant jacuzzi for 4 hours, haha.

Sorry I haven’t written in a few days, Becca, Mom and Dad. The past few days I’ve had some of the funky monkey. And being sick I think caused me to have a bout of homesickness for the first time. And not just like a craving for some Chicken Filet, but for real homesickness. I stayed at the campus on Tuesday night cuz I felt worthless and woke up in an empty room in a country where I know nothing ourside of the other 16 people in my group and the 3 people at my homestay. I miss home, Athens, my friends, playin basketball and volleyball. All of it, though, is just continuing to work on my faith. I’m still trying to deal with the whole comfort thing…

So I started to think. If all of my friends/family went away and were not here anymor would I truly be alright only having Christ? I’ve asked this question before, but I think it took a different turn this time. Would I have COMFORT at all if I didn’t have whats comfortable to me? So to a deeper level, where do I find my comfort, in my friends/family/home, or in Christ???

Certain songs just sit with me. I’m just like my sister, music is a huge part of our life and our faith. Starting my senior year in high school, when my faith became authentic for the first time, I began to find little nuggets of His truth inside songs. One song in particular has been close to my heart since the first time I heard it in Spencer Ussery’s room in August ‘03: "Rest for the Weary" by Cool Hand Luke. The whole song is amazing, go listen to it. It’s worth it. But the end lyrics say, ‘You’re the One who comforts me when everyone is gone away. I can’t stand alone. Here I am, waiting for you to take me home.’

And it just sits with me, especially after I went through that period of homestays and then once the homesickness crept in…Who is it that comforts me?Why is it that I can’t be alright just having Him?

I feel like maybe its these questions that truly shape your faith at the present moment. Francis Chan asked it before his congregation, ‘Do I really LOVE God?’ And Bill Hybels in front of Willow Creek, ‘Is the way that we’ve been approaching ministry the past 20 years really working?’ My faith and the comfort I find in my faith has been knocked upside down in the first 18 days. I can’t imagine what the next 7 weeks will be like. But I’m trying to understand what Costa Rica is all about, "La Pura Vida." "Pure Life." Or for you Disney fans of my generation, "Hakuna Matata." Live in the presetn without worry of the future.

RELAX. QUIET YOURSELF. JUST BE.

If only I could understand what it means to ‘just be’ IN HIM…so this is my pursuit for today. And probably for the weekend if I’m honest with myself. Haha, those of you that know me well know that I don’t exactly take my mind off things easily. But this weekend should offer a cool experience. We are going to the Nicoya Peninsula to go spelunking (maybe the most awkward word in our language) in some caves. So that’s where I’ll be starting tomorrow after lunch and through Staurday night. I’ll try to update this more than once a week…stil tyring to figure out how to continuously pursue Him and dive even while it’s not the easiest thing to do.

I miss you all. Stay Strong. Love.

-M@

"Pura Vida"

Hey again…been a little bit. I had a secret message from a certain sister to write another entry. Well a lot has happened since I wrote last. I was just beginning to get comfortable with my new surroundings and the campus here, then we started our long stretch at homestays with families around the San Luis area. At first, I thought this was the toughest thing I’d ever done. It was the most uncomfortable and out of my normal thing I’ve ever done, too…I slept about 4 hours each night the first 2. It’s very tranquil and quiet, I live with 2 grandparents, Hugo and Lila. Both of them are awesome, but no zero English (besides Hugo knowing how to say "Yes sir, my friend!) haha. So the language barrier took a toll on my heart once more. But as I’ve been doin it (tonight is the last night of 7 in a row) I’ve been getting gradually more comfortable with the situation. My Spanish is improving rapidly each day, and I hold conversations with Hugo y Lila every night for the past 3 with no dictionary. While I’m sure its utterly broken spanish, its enough to get through. We play cards every night after we eat dinner. If not  our marathon matches in UNO that last 2 hours, we play Rummy or a Costa Rican game called "ohco loco". They also have a granddaughter that stays with them some of the time, Daniella. She is 7 and very intelligent, very talkative, and very curious. Needless to say, she reminds me completely of my niece Katelynn. It’s nice when Daniella is there because it a small reminder of home in a place where there aren’t many…no tv, no internet, no english, no music. If I’m learning anything through this past week and the homestay expierences, its that I am sooooo comfort driven.

I think this was the big reason why I was so apprehensive at first. Not for the thought of the actual unknown, but because the unknown held things that I knew would beuncomfortable. I take for granted everything that I have. To wake up to Sportscenter every morning and to be able to drive to get some fast food whenever I want, like really??? I can do these things WHENEVER I WANT?? How spoiled and, even moreso, overly blessed am I. Mom and Dad, I know you’ll read this…so thank you for all you’ve done for me, for everything you’ve given me. I don’t deserve any of it. I love you.

But the comforts don’t only exist for me within material things and home, its also my heart. When I look at the relationship I have with God, why do I have to be so driven by my comfortability with whats happening? I mean really…I was all about journaling this whole trip, was doing it everyday here once  get settled in, and then once I started the homestay, I didn’t journal or get into the Word once. Cuz I felt too uncomfortable with my situation. Or I look at my story last spring. I was dating a girl for a little while, and it was the first time I’d dated someone in a good while. I was crazy bout her, not gonna lie bout it, so when she out of the complete blue broke it off, it disrupted my Spirit, it troubled my mind and my heart. I was so out of my mind already after my grandmother passed away the week before, that i didn’t know what to do with the circumstances and story He wrote out for me. It was so uncomfortable and I could not FEEL God anywhere in my days. So as a result, my walk struggled; my relationship with my Father was altered because my level of comfort and understanding was significantly dropped. What if God acted the same way towards me? What if at every moment that I out of the blue turn my back and betray him, His ability to draw near me suffered? Why can’t I fathom the unconditional love that He gives me?

Unconditional. Whether you’re heart is broken and your lost in your thoughts, or you’re staying in a "nice" third world country home with people you don’t know that speak a different language. Unconditional. Beyond any circumstance that could happen. God, thank you. You are GOOD. Thank you for being the lover of my soul.

I miss everyone, and I’m starting to have those cravings for comfort foods of home and Chick-Fil-A (naturally). My beard is comin in strong, and my hair is gettin long. And I love it. And so do you. I know. We leave for Volcano Arenal and the park there tomorrow morning. I’ll take tons of pictures, and write back on this thing soon. stay strong. love wins.

love.

-M@

–also, I want to post pictures, but might have to wait about 3 weeks til we’re in San Jose and have a stronger connection. So be patient, they’ll be up. Or look at my facebook for pics.

so I can’t exactly say I’m jealous, but I heard Atlanta got snow. A little pissed, cuz I love snow, but just so that yall know…its 76 degrees with a cool breeze and sunny here. So yeah, not gonna trade that for anything. It’s very nice here on campus, but I don’t know that I can really put many pictures up on this thing. First, I don’t totally know how, and second, the internet connection here is not so fast. Better than the "You’ve Got Mail" days, but nothin lke home. No complaints, though…trust me.

So the apprehensiveness is not really here anymore. While it still hard for me to believe I am here to live for the next 2 and a half months and this isn’t just a vacation, its getting comfortable. We have 10 free hours of internet a week, so facebook, fantasy sports, espn, and well…thats about all I ever look at. But yeah, haha, they’re all available in short spurts. Which if you know me, ESPN is essential. The real next test, I suppose, is tomorrow afternoon when we go to our homestays. I am to be living with an older couple that has an 18 year old nephew living with them. I’m very excited, especially about hangin out con el nieto (figure out what it means if ya don’t know).

My spanish is definately getting better already. In our SPAN2002 class yesterday we just did conversation the whole time, which helped a lot. I wish the focus was more on that than on grammatically correct issues. The style of teaching is so much better in my opinion here than back in the States. Rather than a memorization and regurgitation at the proper time, called exams, haha, it is a synthesis focused style of learning. There’s no multiple choice, but rather understanding personally. Like the Rabbinical Hebrew way of learning, as an example. Our way of learning is, what is 2+2? a child would answer, 4". But in Hebrew times with their educational styles, if asked what is 2+2, a student would respond with, "what is 16/4?" Its a questioned based learning. I’m a fan of this…and as a result, the classes are more entertaining and enjoyable.

I’m eager to walk around campus on all the trails. Our campus has multiple buildings, cabanas, bungalows, and classrooms, but there are also trails that lead through the mountains everywhere. The wild and adventurous side of me is ready to knock ‘em all out. Bugs aren’t a big problem on campus really, but apparently on the trails, ya better bring the bug spray. We also have horseback riding class 10 times early in the morning. Had the first this morning, I learned how to rope a horse to prepare setting the saddle and such. Los caballos nombres estan Chele, Moro, Huesos, Chola, y Zonto. Haha, I hope thats right…? The food is very good, and I hope to get to help cook some. Im also…get ready for it…learning to drink coffee black. BOOM! get off me. Costa Rica is making me all cultured and stuff.

The guy I’m rooming with is named Arthur. He’s a great guy, very sociabale/personabale. He is from Tech, but not the average lame-o nerd that goes there . Tonight we’re smokin the pipes and chillin out. Needless to say, I can’t wait. There are 13 girls to 4 guys here, so the odds are phenomenal, haha. It’s a really cool group I’m with. I’m just tyring to be patient for whatever is ahead and take it all in slowly. I’m so very blessed. And so very small. And God is soooooo very big. I think thats the biggest thing I’ve learned so far. So out of my smallness…Buenos tardes, hijo!

stay strong. love.

-M@

—-by the way, in the chance that my rommates read this…please record LOST for me. That and the March Madness games. It’s gonna be hard to miss ‘em. But Go Dawgs! and even moreso for basketball, Go Heels!

So today was my first day in a foreign country. I wrote last night about the apprehensiveness that consumed me while I waited for the trip to happen, and today provided no relief at all. Today was probably the most uncomfortable I have felt since I was 11 when I went to the Georgia Tech basketball camp…the potential and looming homesickness and uncomfortability of being away from home just did not sit right with me. The entire ride to the airport I felt sick to my stomach, continually asking my parents to play some music or have conversation just to ease my nerves. Getting to the airport, I kept asking myself, "What in the world am I about to get into?" I was scared…no gettin around it. The same fears I mentioned last time were just magnified ten fold this morning.

The Lord decided to bring a situation my way, though, that allowed for me to feel more comfortable. I knew no one going into this journey. But as I was about to go through security and leave my parents, I saw Haley, a girl I recognized from the group I am with. She had tears in her eyes and was obviously more distraught than I was. While I had the love and confidence of my parents, though, she had no one with her. She had just said goodbye to her boyfriend and her parents and was by herself in Hartsfield Airport…quite intimidating. Thankfully, seeing her allowed me the chance to ease my nerves somewhat. We walked through the rest of the process together, up to seating on the plane. I still felt sick about what was ahead, but it was getting easier.

Then there was the flight…sweet mercy.

So I’m not exactly anti-airplanes, but I am no where near the saavy vet that is comfortable with them. I felt sick the entire flight, with the exception of 30 minutes or so where I actually did fall asleep. Wow was I surprised when I woke up. And being a big guy, there’s not much leg room, so the knees were rubbing against the freakin seat in front of me for 4 hours. It was zero fun, sir. During the landing I felt nautious, while we went through customs I felt scared, but once we all were together and on the bus ride to our hotel, I began to feel a sense of excitement for the first time. BAM! Turning point in the story…(I hope!)

So today in San Jose, Costa Rica was different than anything I have experienced in my life. Getting to our hotel, we got settled for a minute, and then quickly went out to explore the city. San Jose is sooo different from anything back home. On the bus ride over I noticed that the entire city was probably outside. While the temperature was perfect at 78degrees, it was still wierd to see city parks absolutely full. But as we went places in the city, I next noticed how dirty this place is, haha. It is very nice and beautiful because of the wilderness that surrounds the city, but this city is just straight raw…trash in lots of places, not very well kept up. But I guess thats what to expect from the only even somewhat industrial city in an emerging economic country. But the most overwhelming feeling was the reality that I am lost in translation in San Jose…no seriously, I am Bill Murray minus the balding hair, Japan, and the oh so gorgeous Scarlett Johanssen to hang out with. It’s so wierd being on the other side of things…I can’ figure out how to tell people what I want to order or how to change my american money without feeling completely stupid. So while I’m lost inside this foreign city, the Lord once gaain decided to throw an opportunity my way that helped even more in allowing me to feel comfortable with where I am. After lunch at a hole-in-the-wall pizza place, we heard about a soccer match going on. Turns out the Costa Rican National Soccer Team was playing an exhibition against Sweden’s National Team about 2 miles away. Five of us decided to spend our afternoon checking out this endeavour, and needless to say, it was one of the coolest experiences of my life. While I’m not the biggest soccer fan (I dribble with my hands…) I can sometimes enjoy watching the World Cup. My close friend Nate is a soccer freak, so I always hear about it from him, but never get too involved. But this match was like nothing else. The fans were so passionate, and it was their hero’s and team’s best player’s last game with the National team.

Without having any idea what to expect, I’m slowly learning (just thru day 1) that the Lord is going to use this situation to mold me into the man He wants me to be. I never thought I would have these opportunities, and to think I was sooo close to just saying, "Screw it, I’m staying home and comfortable." I’m still nervous, and still have no idea what to think, but I’m getting excited about it all. I’m ready to settle into things, mos def. And also ready to get to know the people with me in the program. So while I step into another day of unknown, as we travel to a Costa Rican National Volcano Park Area Place (formal, right?), I am going to try to sleep with the assurance that He’s got me, and therefore, everything is alright. I ask for your prayers still. And tomorrow brings a new day full of "lost" moments in the culture of Costa Rica. And I’m……excitedely ready?

We’ll see…stay strong. love.

-M@

–And by the way, my sister is my best friend. I love her and am so thankful for her. The post (rebeccamoon.blogsome.com) she wrote about me today is the most endearing thing anyone has said to me outside of my parents. I love you Becca…

So this is my first little entry into this thing. As I’m writing this, my mind is going crazy and it’s causing a bunch of disturbance inside. I’m leaving for Costa Rica for 9 weeks in a little under 12 hours. This will be the first time away from home for any period of time more than one week. Not sure what to think, to expect, or to pray. I’m nervous…and apprehensive. I had dinner with my family tonight @ Chili’s as a sendoff kinda thing, it was great, but it just made me want to stay around the comfortability of family and home even more. I know that this is just right now, and if I’m honest, it’s all just a ploy of the Enemy to ruin my Spirit. I always get like this before I go somewhere…even if it’s something like Passion or an FCA event I’m leading on. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m "sooo super excited?!?!" And I flash an exuberant smile to make them happy, but really, I don’t know what I am. I have no idea what I am about to step in to. I have never been out of the country before. So this is my journey through the wilderness of Costa Rica, the wilderness of the blog world, and the wilderness of the unknown that lies ahead. stay strong. love.

-M@