Prayer. Pursuit. Progress.

Hey, it’s me. I’m sorry it’s so late. I can’t sleep. I knew you’d be awake. You’re always home waiting by the phone for nights like these when I’m feeling all alone. I wish it didn’t always have to be this way. I wish that I could talk to you face to face. But nothing compares to the way you always listen and know just what to say. Hold my hand. I can’t stand alone. Here I am, waiting for you to take me Home. Oh, I just wanna sing. I only wish there was a word for what you mean to me. I would only say it once, in hushed tones so it would not grow old. But all I have is ‘I love you.’ You’re my Jesus, You’re my Hero. Everything I wish that I could be. You’re my Jesus. You’re my Hero. Everything I wish that I could be. You’re the one who comforts me when everyone is gone away. I can’t stand alone. Here I am, waiting for you to take me home. And I will keep on singing, because you hear me. And I will keep on smiling, because you’re near me. I sleep well with a promise tonight.

-Cool Hand Luke

RELAX. QUIET YOURSELF. JUST BE…IN HIM.

I have. And actually thats a trick question…there is no bottom. It continues to move with your eyes through the sheet of mist near the ground. But I know there’s a freakin leprechaun (I know I just butchered that spelling) chillin near there. We went to Volcano Arenal and the town of La Fortuna this past weekend. It was amazing. The hotel we stayed in was about a half mile from the bottom of the Volcano. The entire place was gorgeous. Lake Arenal is a gorgous place, too. We got to go to this Resort type area called Baldi Springs. It’s natural hot springs. There were like 20 pools, of which the COOLEST was 93 degrees. So we went to a giant jacuzzi for 4 hours, haha.

Sorry I haven’t written in a few days, Becca, Mom and Dad. The past few days I’ve had some of the funky monkey. And being sick I think caused me to have a bout of homesickness for the first time. And not just like a craving for some Chicken Filet, but for real homesickness. I stayed at the campus on Tuesday night cuz I felt worthless and woke up in an empty room in a country where I know nothing ourside of the other 16 people in my group and the 3 people at my homestay. I miss home, Athens, my friends, playin basketball and volleyball. All of it, though, is just continuing to work on my faith. I’m still trying to deal with the whole comfort thing…

So I started to think. If all of my friends/family went away and were not here anymor would I truly be alright only having Christ? I’ve asked this question before, but I think it took a different turn this time. Would I have COMFORT at all if I didn’t have whats comfortable to me? So to a deeper level, where do I find my comfort, in my friends/family/home, or in Christ???

Certain songs just sit with me. I’m just like my sister, music is a huge part of our life and our faith. Starting my senior year in high school, when my faith became authentic for the first time, I began to find little nuggets of His truth inside songs. One song in particular has been close to my heart since the first time I heard it in Spencer Ussery’s room in August ‘03: "Rest for the Weary" by Cool Hand Luke. The whole song is amazing, go listen to it. It’s worth it. But the end lyrics say, ‘You’re the One who comforts me when everyone is gone away. I can’t stand alone. Here I am, waiting for you to take me home.’

And it just sits with me, especially after I went through that period of homestays and then once the homesickness crept in…Who is it that comforts me?Why is it that I can’t be alright just having Him?

I feel like maybe its these questions that truly shape your faith at the present moment. Francis Chan asked it before his congregation, ‘Do I really LOVE God?’ And Bill Hybels in front of Willow Creek, ‘Is the way that we’ve been approaching ministry the past 20 years really working?’ My faith and the comfort I find in my faith has been knocked upside down in the first 18 days. I can’t imagine what the next 7 weeks will be like. But I’m trying to understand what Costa Rica is all about, "La Pura Vida." "Pure Life." Or for you Disney fans of my generation, "Hakuna Matata." Live in the presetn without worry of the future.

RELAX. QUIET YOURSELF. JUST BE.

If only I could understand what it means to ‘just be’ IN HIM…so this is my pursuit for today. And probably for the weekend if I’m honest with myself. Haha, those of you that know me well know that I don’t exactly take my mind off things easily. But this weekend should offer a cool experience. We are going to the Nicoya Peninsula to go spelunking (maybe the most awkward word in our language) in some caves. So that’s where I’ll be starting tomorrow after lunch and through Staurday night. I’ll try to update this more than once a week…stil tyring to figure out how to continuously pursue Him and dive even while it’s not the easiest thing to do.

I miss you all. Stay Strong. Love.

-M@

"Pura Vida"

Hey again…been a little bit. I had a secret message from a certain sister to write another entry. Well a lot has happened since I wrote last. I was just beginning to get comfortable with my new surroundings and the campus here, then we started our long stretch at homestays with families around the San Luis area. At first, I thought this was the toughest thing I’d ever done. It was the most uncomfortable and out of my normal thing I’ve ever done, too…I slept about 4 hours each night the first 2. It’s very tranquil and quiet, I live with 2 grandparents, Hugo and Lila. Both of them are awesome, but no zero English (besides Hugo knowing how to say "Yes sir, my friend!) haha. So the language barrier took a toll on my heart once more. But as I’ve been doin it (tonight is the last night of 7 in a row) I’ve been getting gradually more comfortable with the situation. My Spanish is improving rapidly each day, and I hold conversations with Hugo y Lila every night for the past 3 with no dictionary. While I’m sure its utterly broken spanish, its enough to get through. We play cards every night after we eat dinner. If not  our marathon matches in UNO that last 2 hours, we play Rummy or a Costa Rican game called "ohco loco". They also have a granddaughter that stays with them some of the time, Daniella. She is 7 and very intelligent, very talkative, and very curious. Needless to say, she reminds me completely of my niece Katelynn. It’s nice when Daniella is there because it a small reminder of home in a place where there aren’t many…no tv, no internet, no english, no music. If I’m learning anything through this past week and the homestay expierences, its that I am sooooo comfort driven.

I think this was the big reason why I was so apprehensive at first. Not for the thought of the actual unknown, but because the unknown held things that I knew would beuncomfortable. I take for granted everything that I have. To wake up to Sportscenter every morning and to be able to drive to get some fast food whenever I want, like really??? I can do these things WHENEVER I WANT?? How spoiled and, even moreso, overly blessed am I. Mom and Dad, I know you’ll read this…so thank you for all you’ve done for me, for everything you’ve given me. I don’t deserve any of it. I love you.

But the comforts don’t only exist for me within material things and home, its also my heart. When I look at the relationship I have with God, why do I have to be so driven by my comfortability with whats happening? I mean really…I was all about journaling this whole trip, was doing it everyday here once  get settled in, and then once I started the homestay, I didn’t journal or get into the Word once. Cuz I felt too uncomfortable with my situation. Or I look at my story last spring. I was dating a girl for a little while, and it was the first time I’d dated someone in a good while. I was crazy bout her, not gonna lie bout it, so when she out of the complete blue broke it off, it disrupted my Spirit, it troubled my mind and my heart. I was so out of my mind already after my grandmother passed away the week before, that i didn’t know what to do with the circumstances and story He wrote out for me. It was so uncomfortable and I could not FEEL God anywhere in my days. So as a result, my walk struggled; my relationship with my Father was altered because my level of comfort and understanding was significantly dropped. What if God acted the same way towards me? What if at every moment that I out of the blue turn my back and betray him, His ability to draw near me suffered? Why can’t I fathom the unconditional love that He gives me?

Unconditional. Whether you’re heart is broken and your lost in your thoughts, or you’re staying in a "nice" third world country home with people you don’t know that speak a different language. Unconditional. Beyond any circumstance that could happen. God, thank you. You are GOOD. Thank you for being the lover of my soul.

I miss everyone, and I’m starting to have those cravings for comfort foods of home and Chick-Fil-A (naturally). My beard is comin in strong, and my hair is gettin long. And I love it. And so do you. I know. We leave for Volcano Arenal and the park there tomorrow morning. I’ll take tons of pictures, and write back on this thing soon. stay strong. love wins.

love.

-M@

–also, I want to post pictures, but might have to wait about 3 weeks til we’re in San Jose and have a stronger connection. So be patient, they’ll be up. Or look at my facebook for pics.

so I can’t exactly say I’m jealous, but I heard Atlanta got snow. A little pissed, cuz I love snow, but just so that yall know…its 76 degrees with a cool breeze and sunny here. So yeah, not gonna trade that for anything. It’s very nice here on campus, but I don’t know that I can really put many pictures up on this thing. First, I don’t totally know how, and second, the internet connection here is not so fast. Better than the "You’ve Got Mail" days, but nothin lke home. No complaints, though…trust me.

So the apprehensiveness is not really here anymore. While it still hard for me to believe I am here to live for the next 2 and a half months and this isn’t just a vacation, its getting comfortable. We have 10 free hours of internet a week, so facebook, fantasy sports, espn, and well…thats about all I ever look at. But yeah, haha, they’re all available in short spurts. Which if you know me, ESPN is essential. The real next test, I suppose, is tomorrow afternoon when we go to our homestays. I am to be living with an older couple that has an 18 year old nephew living with them. I’m very excited, especially about hangin out con el nieto (figure out what it means if ya don’t know).

My spanish is definately getting better already. In our SPAN2002 class yesterday we just did conversation the whole time, which helped a lot. I wish the focus was more on that than on grammatically correct issues. The style of teaching is so much better in my opinion here than back in the States. Rather than a memorization and regurgitation at the proper time, called exams, haha, it is a synthesis focused style of learning. There’s no multiple choice, but rather understanding personally. Like the Rabbinical Hebrew way of learning, as an example. Our way of learning is, what is 2+2? a child would answer, 4". But in Hebrew times with their educational styles, if asked what is 2+2, a student would respond with, "what is 16/4?" Its a questioned based learning. I’m a fan of this…and as a result, the classes are more entertaining and enjoyable.

I’m eager to walk around campus on all the trails. Our campus has multiple buildings, cabanas, bungalows, and classrooms, but there are also trails that lead through the mountains everywhere. The wild and adventurous side of me is ready to knock ‘em all out. Bugs aren’t a big problem on campus really, but apparently on the trails, ya better bring the bug spray. We also have horseback riding class 10 times early in the morning. Had the first this morning, I learned how to rope a horse to prepare setting the saddle and such. Los caballos nombres estan Chele, Moro, Huesos, Chola, y Zonto. Haha, I hope thats right…? The food is very good, and I hope to get to help cook some. Im also…get ready for it…learning to drink coffee black. BOOM! get off me. Costa Rica is making me all cultured and stuff.

The guy I’m rooming with is named Arthur. He’s a great guy, very sociabale/personabale. He is from Tech, but not the average lame-o nerd that goes there . Tonight we’re smokin the pipes and chillin out. Needless to say, I can’t wait. There are 13 girls to 4 guys here, so the odds are phenomenal, haha. It’s a really cool group I’m with. I’m just tyring to be patient for whatever is ahead and take it all in slowly. I’m so very blessed. And so very small. And God is soooooo very big. I think thats the biggest thing I’ve learned so far. So out of my smallness…Buenos tardes, hijo!

stay strong. love.

-M@

—-by the way, in the chance that my rommates read this…please record LOST for me. That and the March Madness games. It’s gonna be hard to miss ‘em. But Go Dawgs! and even moreso for basketball, Go Heels!

So today was my first day in a foreign country. I wrote last night about the apprehensiveness that consumed me while I waited for the trip to happen, and today provided no relief at all. Today was probably the most uncomfortable I have felt since I was 11 when I went to the Georgia Tech basketball camp…the potential and looming homesickness and uncomfortability of being away from home just did not sit right with me. The entire ride to the airport I felt sick to my stomach, continually asking my parents to play some music or have conversation just to ease my nerves. Getting to the airport, I kept asking myself, "What in the world am I about to get into?" I was scared…no gettin around it. The same fears I mentioned last time were just magnified ten fold this morning.

The Lord decided to bring a situation my way, though, that allowed for me to feel more comfortable. I knew no one going into this journey. But as I was about to go through security and leave my parents, I saw Haley, a girl I recognized from the group I am with. She had tears in her eyes and was obviously more distraught than I was. While I had the love and confidence of my parents, though, she had no one with her. She had just said goodbye to her boyfriend and her parents and was by herself in Hartsfield Airport…quite intimidating. Thankfully, seeing her allowed me the chance to ease my nerves somewhat. We walked through the rest of the process together, up to seating on the plane. I still felt sick about what was ahead, but it was getting easier.

Then there was the flight…sweet mercy.

So I’m not exactly anti-airplanes, but I am no where near the saavy vet that is comfortable with them. I felt sick the entire flight, with the exception of 30 minutes or so where I actually did fall asleep. Wow was I surprised when I woke up. And being a big guy, there’s not much leg room, so the knees were rubbing against the freakin seat in front of me for 4 hours. It was zero fun, sir. During the landing I felt nautious, while we went through customs I felt scared, but once we all were together and on the bus ride to our hotel, I began to feel a sense of excitement for the first time. BAM! Turning point in the story…(I hope!)

So today in San Jose, Costa Rica was different than anything I have experienced in my life. Getting to our hotel, we got settled for a minute, and then quickly went out to explore the city. San Jose is sooo different from anything back home. On the bus ride over I noticed that the entire city was probably outside. While the temperature was perfect at 78degrees, it was still wierd to see city parks absolutely full. But as we went places in the city, I next noticed how dirty this place is, haha. It is very nice and beautiful because of the wilderness that surrounds the city, but this city is just straight raw…trash in lots of places, not very well kept up. But I guess thats what to expect from the only even somewhat industrial city in an emerging economic country. But the most overwhelming feeling was the reality that I am lost in translation in San Jose…no seriously, I am Bill Murray minus the balding hair, Japan, and the oh so gorgeous Scarlett Johanssen to hang out with. It’s so wierd being on the other side of things…I can’ figure out how to tell people what I want to order or how to change my american money without feeling completely stupid. So while I’m lost inside this foreign city, the Lord once gaain decided to throw an opportunity my way that helped even more in allowing me to feel comfortable with where I am. After lunch at a hole-in-the-wall pizza place, we heard about a soccer match going on. Turns out the Costa Rican National Soccer Team was playing an exhibition against Sweden’s National Team about 2 miles away. Five of us decided to spend our afternoon checking out this endeavour, and needless to say, it was one of the coolest experiences of my life. While I’m not the biggest soccer fan (I dribble with my hands…) I can sometimes enjoy watching the World Cup. My close friend Nate is a soccer freak, so I always hear about it from him, but never get too involved. But this match was like nothing else. The fans were so passionate, and it was their hero’s and team’s best player’s last game with the National team.

Without having any idea what to expect, I’m slowly learning (just thru day 1) that the Lord is going to use this situation to mold me into the man He wants me to be. I never thought I would have these opportunities, and to think I was sooo close to just saying, "Screw it, I’m staying home and comfortable." I’m still nervous, and still have no idea what to think, but I’m getting excited about it all. I’m ready to settle into things, mos def. And also ready to get to know the people with me in the program. So while I step into another day of unknown, as we travel to a Costa Rican National Volcano Park Area Place (formal, right?), I am going to try to sleep with the assurance that He’s got me, and therefore, everything is alright. I ask for your prayers still. And tomorrow brings a new day full of "lost" moments in the culture of Costa Rica. And I’m……excitedely ready?

We’ll see…stay strong. love.

-M@

–And by the way, my sister is my best friend. I love her and am so thankful for her. The post (rebeccamoon.blogsome.com) she wrote about me today is the most endearing thing anyone has said to me outside of my parents. I love you Becca…

So this is my first little entry into this thing. As I’m writing this, my mind is going crazy and it’s causing a bunch of disturbance inside. I’m leaving for Costa Rica for 9 weeks in a little under 12 hours. This will be the first time away from home for any period of time more than one week. Not sure what to think, to expect, or to pray. I’m nervous…and apprehensive. I had dinner with my family tonight @ Chili’s as a sendoff kinda thing, it was great, but it just made me want to stay around the comfortability of family and home even more. I know that this is just right now, and if I’m honest, it’s all just a ploy of the Enemy to ruin my Spirit. I always get like this before I go somewhere…even if it’s something like Passion or an FCA event I’m leading on. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m "sooo super excited?!?!" And I flash an exuberant smile to make them happy, but really, I don’t know what I am. I have no idea what I am about to step in to. I have never been out of the country before. So this is my journey through the wilderness of Costa Rica, the wilderness of the blog world, and the wilderness of the unknown that lies ahead. stay strong. love.

-M@